The Truth Of The Phoenix
by MadAzSin
Summary: AU as of OOTP. Harry and Severus are depressed. Can they save each other with the help of a mischievous Phoenix help them both. Slash HPSS.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't care. I don't. Really. Ok, maybe a little. Ok, maybe alot. Ok, I cry myself to sleep every night, so sue me. No please don't.

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_**The Truth Of The Phoenix.**_

_**Prologue**_

Severus Snape looked up at the sky from the grounds of Britain's rather famous Wizarding institute, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The sky was clear and the sun shone brightly, as it should in the middle of July. The weather, however, did not reflect the Potions Master's mood.

Usually the Potions Master would be content at the moment as it was the summer holidays. The large, thousand year old castle had been quiet for last two weeks and would remain to be for the next month and a half.

The annoying and loud brats had always stopped Severus working on his experiments during the year, but now he would usually be able to work in peace.

However, the professor's life had been thrown from its usual routine since the strongest Dark Lord in over a Century had been reborn over a year previously, Lord Voldemort.

Severus suddenly found himself in a role he had hoped to leave behind 14 years ago, he was back to being a spy. He spied on Voldemort for the old coot Dumbledore, while Voldemort thought Severus was spying for him. _What a fool, _thought Severus, _who would follow a creature who cursed you at every opportunity?_

He looked up again and finally saw the red and gold feathers of Fawkes shining in the sun. As he came closed Severus held out his arm and the Phoenix landed on his arm, as if a perch.

Severus began to untie the letter from the Phoenix's leg and the magical bird took flight immediatly. The piece of parchment from the Phoenix leg was 5x7cm in size and folded in half. Severus started to unfold the note and took a deep breath. He breathed out slowly as he read the words, still wishing that have to know the few simple words.

_**4 Privet Drive, Surrey.**_

This was the address of one Harry Potter and his relitaevs. Severus' mission for tonight was to watch the boy and so he would need to know the address. What Mr.Potter didn't know was that he lived under many charms and wards. One of these was the Fidelus charm and Albus Dumbledore, the boy's ever-loving Headmaster was his Secret-Keeper. So only he could give Severus, in a note or in person, the address, and the use of Fawkes insured that the address didn't fall into enemy hands.

The hooked-nosed git, as his students called him,stared with something akin to disgust. _So this is the Potter brat's address,_ thought Severus._ Now not only am I a spy, but a baby-sitter as well. _

Ever since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returned ,and the Order of the Phoenix reconstituted, all anyone seemed to care about was the saftey of that spoiled, arrogent boy. Why should anyone care about his saftey if he put _himself_ in jeopordy?

First year, he went after the Philosophers Stone with only that Weasley and that know-it-all Granger for back-up. Second year, he went into the Chamber of Secrets and fought and , somehow, killed a Basilisk. If it hadn't been for that Griffindor mascot, Fawkes, he wouldn't be here. Third year, wasn't worth thinking about. Severus was still furious about Black getting away and Dumbledore still wouldn't him how he escaped.

And then there was Fourth year, the year the Dark Lord was returned to his body. The Tri-Wizard tournament had been held at Hogwarts and Harry had, unexpectantly, become one of Hogwarts Champions. True, Harry's name had been placed in the Goblet of Fire by one of the Dark Lords loyal Deatheaters, _but still, _thought Severus,_ it was partially the boy's fault for not getting himself out of it._

Not only had Potter almost been burned alive by a Hungarian Horntail, almost drowned at the bottom of the lake but he had then been transported to a graveyard and his blood used to resurrect Lord Voldemort after watching the death of fellow student and Champion; Cedric Diggory.

Then in the year just past, not only was Potter breaking the rules by starting an illegal Defence club but broke into the Department of Mysteries and almost got Black killed. _Not that it was a big lose, _thought Severus.

Even if the students thought their Potions Master was cruel, Severus wasn't stupid enough to believe the death of Cedric and Black's injuries to be all the Brats fault. He knew that Cedric Diggory's death was almost unavoidable and that it was not Potters fault that the Dark Lord gave him visions. Just as the death's of his Mother and Father were not his fault.

Severus sighed and pointed his wand at the piece of parchment. "_Paro_", Severus said and the parchment burst into flames. Severus dropped the ashes and walked towards the edge of Hogwarts wards. Once he reached them he disapparated.

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In the third bedroom of number 4 Private Drive Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, lay on his bed, arms folded beneath his head and let out a deep, sad sigh.

In the two weeks Harry Potter had been back at his aunts and uncles, he had venchered out of his room only for the bathroom and to do chores. Unlike last year, Harry didn't go walking around the neibourhood in the evening and his 'family' never gave him any outside chores like previous years. They were too scared that another Dementor would hurt there precious 'Duddy-kins'.

Because of this, Harry's skin had become pale and gaunt, his hair, now past his chin, looked even blacker than the inky black it usually was, if it were possible. The biggest change however was the young wizards eyes although they were still greener than summer grass they held no emotion. Anyone who knew the young adult or his deceased mother would have told you there eyes always held all the emotions they were feeling. Harry's eyes, however, held nothing.

After what happened at the department of mysteries and almost getting his friends and Godfather killed, not tomention a number of members of the Order. Since then Harry had withdrawn into himself. He had told everybody not to contact him over the summer, however this didn't stop the Order sending guards, also known as babysitters, or Sirius from sending him a letter every two days.

They usually contained something telling Harry not to blame himself for what happened almost a month ago, saying that it was Voldemort's fault for tricking him but no matter what he said Harry always thought it could of been averted.

At the moment Sirius was stuck at 12 Grimmauld Place with a shattered knee-cap and ruptured lung. The curses that Bellatrix Lestrange had thrown at him had caused serious damage and put him in a coma for two weeks. During that time Harry had only visited the hospital wing at night, when it was darkest. He was afraid of how ex-professor Lupin would react to seeing him.

Remus Lupin hadn't taken his friends injuries well. The full moon took place while Siriuis was comatosed and the transformation was alot worse than it usually was, and that was saying something. Lupin had been taken to the bed next to Sirius the next morning and had stayed there for four days. During that time Harry didn't visit Sirius once.

When Sirius finally awoke, the day before the start of the summer holidays, Hary saw Lupin for the first time since the incident.

Harry had walked into the hospital wing to the sound of soft laughter from Sirius and Lupin. He saw Sirius lying in the bed furthest from the door and the werewolf sitting on the bed next to him. He walked over with nervous butterflies in his stomach. He hadn't wanted to come but was told by Ron and Hermione that Sirius had been asking for him.

He stopped at the bottom of the bed for a full minute, while his Godfather and ex-professor just stared at him, until Sirius and Remus(as he told Harry to call him) pulled Harry into a group hug.

They then went on to tell Harry that none of this was Harry's fault and that, although they didn't know what the Prophecy said, they would do all they could to find out what it was about and help Harry through it.

It was then that Harry realised that Sirius anf Remus had known nothing of the Prophecy before they had went to the Department of Mysteries. They had known they were protecting a weapon, but didn't know what it was. _Well at least I'm not the only one Dumbledore's keeping things from, _thought Harry.

And Harry didn't have the heart to tell them.

How could he tell his Godfather and the man he had come to see as an Uncle that he had to either, basically, be murdered or become a murderer?

The next morning, before Harry boarded the Hogwarts Express, Remus cornered him for a 'chat'. Remus told Harry that if anything were to happen that he would come straight over and get him, even if the 'old coot' told him to do otherwise. Harry thought to go to the hospital wing to make sure Sirius hadn't died in the night because Remus seemed to be channeling him.

After promising to owl him if something happened, Harry boarded the train to start the two month journey back to Hogwarts. Even then Harry knew that it was going to be longer than any year before with his self-imposed seclusion.

Although his little chat with Sirius and Remus was supposed to make Harry feel better, it only made Harry see that he was a danger to himself and the people around him. So, Harry decided to do the only thing he could do. Distance himself from everyone else.

Not that it was hard.

Ron and Hermione were hardly talking to him anyway. Both had been hurt in the Department of Mysteries and were getting sick of Harry's 'hero complex', as Hermione called it. They didn't think it was all Harry's fault but decided that being so close to him was leading to getting hurt even worse. Even Ron's jealousy over Harry's money had disappated.

Ginny couldn't get close to Harry due to Ron breathing down her neck. In truth the only members of the Weasley family really speaking to Harry were the Twins.

Neville and Luna were both talking to Harry but as they hadn't been very close to Harry before the Incident, and Harry wasn't letting anyone get close now, there was nothing they could do to make Harry feel better.

It got even worse when Hary got back to Privet Drive. Harry had told everyone not ovling him and any messages he did get Harry placed at the bottom of his trunk. So all Harry did all day was brood over killing Voldemory, Bellatrix and anyone who got is his way. Harry was beginning to think that the people at school had been right in his Second year; he ws the next Dark Lord.

For the second time, Harry was seriously thinking of leaving the Wizarding world and never coming back.

Well, until a certain gold and red Phoenix burst into the room a week later.


	2. What would you do for love?

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_**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter or J.K Rowling. The only thing we have in common is that we live in the same city. Woo-Hoo. _

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_**The Truth of the Phoenix.**_

_**Chapter One.**_

Dumbledore watched as Fawkes landed on his perch in the dark and dusty room. Looking around, it was obvious from the inch thick layer of dirt and grime that the room hadn't been used in a very long time. But it wasn't just that specific room. The whole facility had an air of dereliction that was only found in long-term uninhabited properties. What made this place great, however, was that nobody knew where Dumbledore was, not even his most trusted friends.

Many people made the assumptions around Dumbledore. One of these assumptions was that he lived at Hogwarts.

Dumbledore, however, actually had a very cosy cottage in Yorkshire which he used occasionally to 'get away from it all'. During Voldemorts first reign of terror he had used it often when he had been depressed about how the war was turning out. The last time this place had been used was after James and Lily Potter had died almost 14 years ago. When those two had died and little baby Harry Potter left with the Dursley's Dumbledore had went into a depression that lasted well into the new year. Only Minerva had been able to get him out of it, but he had never been the same.

Lily and James had been like the children he had never had, even before they got together. Lily was the smart creative daughter who you could dote upon forever and still she would blush and say thank you. Yet she had problems fitting in. She was a Ravenclaw in Gryffindor colours in her younger years, to interested in books to worry about others. When she finally started to get interested in the people around her she had become isolated, that's how Dumbledore got involved. He had found her one night in the Astronomy tower in tears. After comforting her that night, she went to him with everything even just to have a cup of tea.

James was another story. While Lily and himself had there first meeting in her 4th year, James had been in his office only hours after his first day. He had never met such a disobediant child in all his years as a teacher and a student himself. During his first class of his school career, Potions, not only did he purposely blow up his cauldron but he made the wrong potion and turned the Potion's Mistress' skin indigo blue for three moon cycles. However, there was one thing that could be said for James, he never objected to being punished for his pranks. Oh, Sirius would argue with you till he was blue in the face over a punishmet,( though his face never went indigo), but James would sit there and let you shout till you had calmed down.

Yes, James really had been the mischevious son.

Then, not long after his son and daughter had married baby Harry had come along. His Grandson.

Now we come to the second of these assumptions; that Dumledore was a manipulator.

This was where you had to be careful because Dumbledore would admit himself that he manipulated people but not in the way many thought. Over the yars he had been accused of only seeing the bigger picture and forgetting about people individually. They also thought he only saw people as pawns in a gigantic chess game and that his latest pawn was no other than the child wonder Harry James Potter.

Many of his collegues from Hogwarts and the Wizengambot thought that the challenges that Harry went through every year were orchestrated by the Headmaster, in someway or another, to make The-Boy-Who-Lived more suseptable to his will. What many failed realise, or couldn't bring themselves to see, was the utter look of defeat he held every single time Harry had been hurt.

Dumbledore loved Harry and he hated that such a sweet boy had to deal with such tragedy. He wished that Harry could just be a normal teenager. Well, as normal as his parental and educational arrangements allowed. We wished that there wasn't a prophecy that needed fufilled and that he could tell Harry just how much he meant to the old man. Unfortunatly, he couldn't tell anyone, including Harry, how he felt. Dumbledore had every faith that his adopted Grandson could beat Voldemort. However, Dumbledore's mission wasn't to just 'help' defeat the Dark Lord, but to keep the Wizarding World from falling into chaos, while keeping it secret from the Muggle World _and_ trying to stop other factions becoming powerful enough that when Voldemort was defeated they could seize power.

This meant the Dumbledore had to appear omnipotent and omniscient as he always had, which meant he had no living person to talk to and talking to the dead really didn't impart any new wisdom. So he did what he had always done...

He talked to Fawkes.

"I think we're getting to old for this Fawkes," Dumbledore said with a sigh. "It seems that we are loosing even mor people to the Dark than last time. The Dark Lord recruits more people everyday and more people are trying to stay neutral this time around" He got up and walked over to Fawkes and started petting him."When Harry defeats Tom, I don't think there will be much of a Wizarding World left in Britain. Foreign Ministries have refused to help and anyone who could has started to leave. None of them seem to realise that once Voldemort has Britain firmly within his grasp he will start to take over the other countries. It is a great pressure I have placed upon that Child and I fear for his own happiness."

Dumbledore let his hand drop from petting the phoenix and shook his head. Sometimes he wondered if the Phoenix actually understood everything that was going on.

What Albus didn't know was that his trusty Familiar actually knew exactly what was going on and understood it better than the Headmaster.

You see what no one knew was that Phoenix's weren't strictly magical creatures, actually almost everything in books about Phoenix's is wrong. True they did fall into ash every month, but that had nothing to do with rebirth. It had to do with the fact that magical residue was attracted to Phoenix feathers, and this caused problems while flying and using Phoenix magic. So, every month they would burn off the magic.

They, also, did not stay loyal to the people they stayed with like everyone thought. They only stayed with a person for as long as that person could help them achieve there goals; to find a new Phoenix. And most Importantly, Phoenix's were not 'creatures' of Light.

Phoenix's are actually creatures of Balance. Wizards and Witches around the globe thought magic was Light _or_ Dark. However, the truth was that magic itself was neutral. There was no Light or Dark, black or white, good or evil. These were creations of humans and it was simple to see that if you knew how to look.

A phoenix's job was to find and guide other young Phoenix's and to also help people keep a balance, which was extremly hard at this point in time. This was how the Phoenix that the Headmaster called Fawkes came by his greatest charge. And no not Albus Dumbledore but Harry Potter was the only hope for Balance to be replaced after this war. This was a major cause for concern.

Harry had generally been balanced during his life concerning magic however, lately, when the Phoenix had checked on the young man he had saw a large change in him. His almost pure hatred of Voldemort, as well as his depression, had pushed his young charge too much into the Light. That was why Fawkes made the decision to go and tell Harry the truth.

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Ok, that's chapter one finished. Chapter two will be out soon hopefully. Oh and thank you Mashell for the review.


	3. UmmOk?

_**The Truth Of The Phoenix.**_

_**Chapter Two**_

_I still have nightmares about the night Cedric died. Sometimes I see it exactly how it happened but at other times things change. Sometimes Cedric doesn't die, sometimes the spell fails and Voldemort doesn't come back and at other times our wans don't connect and I die._

_I sometimes dream Cedric's before me and he's screaming at me about how I let him die, how I've hurt his parents. In this dream Sirius and Remus usually appear and tell me how much they hate what I've let myself become._

_I mean I know these dreams have no truth in reality. I know both Sirius and Remus are proud of me. It's just my mind's in such turmoil. Everyone seems to think I can save the Wizarding world from destruction, even though they don't know the prophecy. How am _I _supposed to save the whole Wizarding world when I can't even save Cedric._

_No one realises that I don't know what I'm doing. They all think I'm powerful and special when really I'm a fifteen year old, who just wants to be left alone. No one can see the real me. Not Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore or Sirius. The scary thing is that the only person who gets close is Snape. He doesn't see the Boy-Who-Lived, he sees my Father and that doesn't bother me. No matter what my Father did i the past he is still my blood and I would never change that._

_In truth, Snape is the only one---_

Harry looked up from his journal, across the ark and cluttered room, towards the desk on the other side of the room. There he found the cause of the pop and the flash of colour that had startled him just a moment ago.

Harry was rather surprised to see Fawkes sitting on the edge of the desk. He didn't have a letter attached so Harry presumed that the Headmaster hadn't sent him._ 'So what is Fawkes doing here?'_

Harry sat up on the bed and stared at Fawkes. After a few seconds Harry whispered almost to himself, "what are you doing here Fawkes."

The Phoenix tipped its head to the side and then suddenly there was a blinding light of purple and orange. It was so bright that Harry had no choice but tho close his eyes and turn away. When the light disappeared he opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times before looking over at Fawkes. Or where Fawkes had been.

Now sitting on the desk was a young man. The guy looked to be around nineteen and towered over Harry at 6 foot. He had short brown hair and dark blue eyes. He was both lean and muscular and looked like he belonged on a track team. At the moment, however, it had little effect on Harry.

"Wha...who are you? How did you get in here? Where's Fawkes?" stuttered Harry.

The stranger smiled at Harry in a rather pitying way. "To answer your first question: My name is Nathaniel. Second question: I fire apparated. And your third question: he's sitting right in front of you. I'm Fawkes"

Harry stared for a moment. "That's not possible. Fawkes is a Phoenix, your...not!"

'Nathaniel' sighed. "This would be easier if your head hadn't been filled with nonsense." He sighed again. "Harry, I am Fawkes and yes I am a Phoenix. As a matter of fact so are you. Stop Harry," he held up his hands to silence Harry before he could ask a question. "I will explain everything after you trust me."

Harry thought for a moment then asked, "what exactly happened in The Chamber of Secrets in my third year."

Nathanial smiled. "It was actually your second year, good try though. Well, I felt that you were in trouble and realised what was going on. So, I grabbed Eric and followed his instructions on how to get into the chamber. When I got there I dropped Eric, you put him on, he gave you the Sword of Godric Gryffindor and you shoved it through the roof of the Basilisk's mouth. It bit you in the arm and I healed you with my tears. Anything else?"

All Harry could say was, "Eric?"

"Oh, that's the sorting hat. He got tired of everyone calling him 'the sorting hat' so he decided that he should have a name and he decided on Eric. Are you ready for me to explain this to you?" Harry nodded. "Good. Now lets start by talking about magic itself.

"Magic has been around, at least, as long as humans have. What wasn't around was Evil. For thousands of years magic was seen by all magical users as neutral. There was no Light or Dark magic until 1000b.c. Now, in one of the ancient cultures, we're not sure which as the knowledge was lost some time ago, a rather powerful witch started to use her magic to do ill. She started manipulating spells to hurt people, this was when the killing curse was created, that much is known.

"When she was finally brought down muggles had already found out about magic. To save the lives of the other magical users, the witches and wizards of the area told them a lie about there being Light and Dark magic. Over time the lie spread. As there were no schools, magical children learned magic through apprenticeships and from every rumour and story they heard. So the new generation was taught that magic wasn't neutral and todays society was formed.

"Before this Phoenix's did not exist. A Phoenix lives to create a balance, to keep neutrality. At the moment, you wouldn't believe, but there is a balance. However, if either Dumbledore or Voldemort win the balance will be tipped. That's were you come in."

Harry interrupted. "What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm only a bloody kid"

"You, Harry James Potter, are going to save the world from itself."

Harry scowled. "What are you talking about? And lets get back to the me being a phoenix thing."

"Harry when I say Phoenix I don't mean you are a magical creature. I mean only that you can create balance. Phoenix isn't the name of a magical creature, it is a title for someone who creates balance. Of course, with the title comes both abilities and responsibilities."

"Huh?"

Again with the pitying smile. "Just go along with this Harry, it's all rather complicated"

Harry nodded his head slowly. Well what would you do if a Phoenix burst into your room, the said Phoenix turned into a human and then he had been told you were a Phoenix? Yeah nodding your head and saying 'huh' defiantly summed it up.

"Ok, I'll go along with this," said Harry, "but why are you telling me all this Fawkes?"

"Please Harry, call me Nat. I'm here because you're no longer neutral. Your leaning towards the Light side too much Harry"

The other boy frowned. "But isn't that a good thing? If I'm more Light won't I be less likely to hurt people?"

"Harry it's not that simple. As you know, a Phoenix is a symbol of Light magic, they are said to be made of Light magic and the protectors against Dark magic. To put it lightly: This is utter bullshit.

"Think of it this way, there is no Light or Dark magic, there is just magic and on its own it is neither. However, with intent it can be _said_ to be one of these, but really it's the the user, do you understand?" Harry nodded. "Yes, being brought up by muggles helped you in that respect. Very few, and I mean very few, wizards who have lived in the Wizarding world their whole lives can understand this. They are brought up to believe in the sides of magic and even muggle-borns are made to believe this.

"I'm here Harry for one thing and one thing only Harry. To turn you Darker."


End file.
